12 October 2007
Conan demo
The only redeeming feature of the demo of THQ's Conan is the saucy lady with the bow. She flirts with Conan in the opening cinema and manages to seem alluring despite being a poorly lip-synced assembly of textured polygons. Then she disappears and Conan is left to the business of chopping the limbs off waves of bad guy clones.
At one point, no kidding, the floor was littered with more than a dozen detached arms. With each step, Conan kicked at least one with his feet. If it were at least fun to cut the limbs off, I could perhaps see past the gross detail, but it just isn't. Conan feels like a lumbering Kratos with only two attacks, detach-head and detach-arms. Worst of all, the demo doesn't even reward you with one last shot of saucy bow-woman. You just get to hear her congratulate you at the end.
That said, the game is yet another in the ongoing global war on pottery. Hooray for red and green glowing icons popping out of broken pottery, crates, and armless men!
This demo is currently on Xbox Live Marketplace and the PlayStation Store.
At one point, no kidding, the floor was littered with more than a dozen detached arms. With each step, Conan kicked at least one with his feet. If it were at least fun to cut the limbs off, I could perhaps see past the gross detail, but it just isn't. Conan feels like a lumbering Kratos with only two attacks, detach-head and detach-arms. Worst of all, the demo doesn't even reward you with one last shot of saucy bow-woman. You just get to hear her congratulate you at the end.
That said, the game is yet another in the ongoing global war on pottery. Hooray for red and green glowing icons popping out of broken pottery, crates, and armless men!
This demo is currently on Xbox Live Marketplace and the PlayStation Store.
--jvm at 10:00
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Curmudgeon Gamer